i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
