some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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