Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Where is the hickey?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
