is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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