I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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