Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
