You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
