she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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