I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
