Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
