she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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