just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
