I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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