...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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