But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
