i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
