just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
