When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My pussy is not your playground.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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