Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
