I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
