I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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