READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
