and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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