worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can't special order awesome
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
