His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
