Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
