Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize