And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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