your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
