I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize