I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
