Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
