Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
