I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
