Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
