need another drink. this is the easiest way
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
