come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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