Tell her she can't have a vagina
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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