Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
