i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
