he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
