Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
