she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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