Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
