I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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