I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Randomize
