As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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