Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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