so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
