also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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