I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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