someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
