i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
