you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
