I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
