i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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