Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
