Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I deserve this hangover.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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