I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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