Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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