...so i touched it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
