Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
