I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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