Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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