I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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