worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
